The Escapist

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aight fuckers I’m doing it I’m spending a full $4 to watch the first lotr movie, for the first time

so like I get, you know, power and malice and cruelty were ‘poured’ into the rings, but like. what did they actually put in those things. what fuckin gold gives a ring malice. why did the elves only get three.

holy shit it’s Agent Smith with pointy ears

this ring was made of weet-bix and nutri grain

it was in this moment, when all hope was lost, that issieldor-whoever took up his father’s sword -

I’M SORRY BUT I’M LAUGHING THE RING GIVES THE BIG BAD GUY LIKE DARK MAGIC AND A DEMON ARMY TO CONTROL BUT EESEELDOOR PUTS IT ON AND HE JUST TURNS INVISIBLE

holy shit I just experienced seven and a half minutes of introductory exposition by a mysterious lady who apparently thinks VERY little of hobbits

omg is this WHOLE movie exposition

it has been remarked by some that a hobbit’s only real passion

is for food

FOOD

a wizard is never late

says Ian McKellan, wishing he was Julie Andrews, Queen of Genovia

I know absolutely nothing about either of these two but I already fucking love their relationship it’s beautiful

OH SO BILBO’S THE FUCK THAT CAUSED ALL THOSE JUMP SCARES

oh shit son he’s got the ring and the golem voice

okay so that’s pretty fucking cute

apparently every hobbit has an instinctual urge to hug Ian McKellen and honestly? same

holy shit guys I’m not even 20 minutes in I’m gonna have to make multiple posts

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Watching OP stumble ass over teakettle in love with this movie is amazing and these posts made my week

@pendragonness